Today's Tip • TAC : The Art of Conversation : With, not to
Talking “to” a person is based on a “me” perspective. “With” is open forum and allows two or more people to have an comfortable conversation about something random. When you talk “To” a person, it is always a direct approach toward a person or persons; “Where do you work?”, “What is your favorite color?”. A great example of talking “With” a person(s); (saying it out loud just to yourself) “This weather is really lovely today.”, “I love the wall color.”
By taking away the pressure of asking a direct question or placing an individual on the spot, you open doors to a comfortable response from them. When a person can “add” their opinion to something you said, they are bringing points to the conversation. It's easier on people to feel a part of something than being directed at, thus becoming the center of attention. Which creates a fear.
When in High School a teacher will call up a student to speak in front of the class. What must be going on in their head is unknown. What is known is this; Public speaking is one of the hardest fears to break free from. It is a skill that is acquired through years of training. When a person is spoken “To”, they are placed into the public speaking (flight or fight) syndrome. Anxiety destroys a conversation. Release a person of that fear by talking “With” them.
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