Today's Tip – Communication skills and you, does and don'ts to help you on your way;

So you have some small ideas on where to start but could use a few actual examples to help you on your way. Sounds fair to me. Remember good communication skills help your relationships grow and bad ones make it wither to dust. Practice makes perfect, or as close as possible.

Lets start with making judgments or what is perceived as. Being judgmental is saying “I am right and you suck.” These are taken as attacks or criticism and do not help your cause. “You are wrong” is, well rude. Might be true but it will not help you with the problem you are discussing. If you change the “You” part and make it “I” and add in how you feel about it like “I am angry.” Saying someone is wrong is unhelpful and will cause an argument, however saying I am angry cant be argued since they cant tell you how you feel about something. So stick with how you feel when going over a conflict, find common ground and you will get through it. No blame placing. Now get to the idea what is the problem, “I am angry because XXX happened, what can we do to fix this.” see that word “we”. Now your in it together and no one feels attacked.

Here are some other important things to remember about communicating. Pay attention when people speak to you, face them and show you are doing so. That’s both verbal and nonverbal and makes a better connection. When they are done ask questions about what they said so they can be sure you were listening its not an AH HA moment but they notice it even if only subconsciously. Ask for information and ask when you are giving direction this keeps them from feeling inferior. Offer advice, don't just give it there is a huge difference between “You should do it this way.” Versus “What do you think of trying this?” See the difference in that? Say it out loud if you need to. Keep a sense of humor laugh and be yourself, there is no need to come up with a different persona unless you decide that's who you want to become.

Remember to practice this, its so very worth your time!

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